Mind Your Own Business

Mind Your Own Business!

I tend to mind my own business.

William S. Burroughs called it M.O.B. mentality and said that this world would be a much better place if everyone could just mind their own business and let others do the same.

It's a profound statement and I whole-heartedly agree with it.

Unfortunately, there are a great many people in this office that can't mind their own business, or rather they feel that I don't seem to have enough of my own business to mind; so I need all of theirs as well. This wouldn't bother me so much if it was coming from a person that I had even the slightest affinity toward. In this case however, I could only hope to be so lucky.

It's a day just like any other day. It's far to early for any reasonable human being to actually be out of bed, to say nothing of actually having to be at the job. In my case we have to assume that I bear no resemblance to anyone of sound mind as it's 5:30am and I'm already at work; trying desperately not to fall asleep in my chair.

By 7:00am there should be someone with me. I would say partner but that would denote a level of fondness for the person that I do no currently possess. Regardless, it's 7:00am and as per usual my co-worker is late. Late today, late yesterday, late everyday that she's expected to be in the office. I have to drive 35 miles through the hellish Nebraska freeway system and she has to drive 3 - (through town I might add). I'm usually 15 minutes early... she's always that late... sometimes more than that.

I feel fortunate if I actually get a phone call. Of course, when I do I just want to slap her when she tells me she's out getting coffee.

It must be said that today, this day, is my first day back after being on vacation for three weeks and sick for one. I've had an entire month off and already I can feel the despair settle in upon my soul and the crushing weight of hopelessness squeezing the life from my body.

7:25am she walks thorough the door; a brief exchange of hellos and all is silent. We sit back to back and not a word is spoken between us. Could this be bliss?

No.

8:00am "You are not going to believe how miserable my life has been this last month."

Oh, I'd believe it; I believe it because I know you're insane. I sit silently, hoping that my lack of response would be enough to say that I'm not interested. I should have known better.

"I have this really long and horrible story to tell you about what's happened to me that I just HAVE to tell you about."

Never, have I given this woman any indication that I was in the slightest bit interested in her life or what she has to say. I hear the long slow breath being drawn, preparing for the tirade that would certainly herald the demise of my sanity.

RING

RING

I have never been so thrilled to hear the sound of the telephone. The bell that would prove to be my saviour. At least it was for a few hours.